"He's always just been my wittle bubby boo."

- Bryan's Mom

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"So funny, I died."

- former friend

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"He knows advertising, trust me."

- Himself

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"You're perfect for the industry because you're never on time."

- Advertising professor

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"No wait, I can be on time.  Trust me."

- Himself

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"That growth is abnormal.  You should have it removed."

- Doctor Kerry

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"Words are the scars of experience, and the birthplace of creation."

- I just made that up in like 2 seconds

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"Don't say "you're hired" and quote the reader as the one saying it, because that's tacky."

- You